Where have I been? I was doing so well with keeping up with the blog. Oh that’s right I was publishing the first of the O Line series. SO, that’s done. Almost. Still waiting to get the green flag from Kindle and the proof from Create Space. In the meantime, I thought I would write a blog about how to e-publish. (And why not, everybody who publishes are doing it.)
Step 1: Find a quiet cave and move you’re files, sticky notes, coffee pot, generator and computer into it. Chair and Desk are optional as you don’t want to be too comfortable.
Step 2: After you’ve written the book by hand. Rewrite it a few more times. Just throw away all that other garbage and research you’ve done. Wing it and see what magic flies from your fingertips. Let the Fraggles that are now visiting you in the cave know you are friendly. Then make sure you type it into an obscure word processing program.
Step 3: Formatting. Well why not at least try it. Format it again just the way you want to read it on the page.
Step 4: Sign up for the e-publishing websites.
Step 5: a) Load the newly formatted book into the programs the e-publishers provide for you. So now you have some real jacked up formatting. Reformat it again inside their programs. It is important that you have a professional looking book so you’ll need to know coding; html, css, Russian. Whatever it takes. b) Make another pot of coffee. Cry. Ask for forgiveness. Name your toes.
Step 6: Call a help line. Anyone will do. I like the people at AAA auto. Tell them Angelica sent you.
Step 7: Now that you have it loaded up and formatted go ahead and look at the preview. Is it exactly as you want it? Then go ahead and publish. It take 24 – 48 hours for them to get back to you so either repeat step 5 b) or take a long nap. Don’t bother eating because you’re going to be too excited to do so and you may just vomit from lack of sleep and too much coffee.
Step 8: a) Realize those Fraggles you’ve been talking to are an angry mob of raccoons who don’t want you in their cave and move out. b) You’ll have to go buy an e-reader to do so but why not, you deserve to treat yourself. Now, look at the final product.
Step 9: Stop freaking out that the final product on the e-reader doesn’t look exactly as you imagined it would. Go back to your formatting and do it again.
The moral of this story is to fail. Fail again. Fail better. I hope this helps.